Stop Apologizing: Shift from "Sorry" to "Thank You" for Healthier Relationships and Self-Confidence
Instead of saying “I’m sorry,” try saying “thank you.”
In today's fast-paced world, many of us find ourselves apologizing for things that don't warrant an apology. Whether it's a minor mistake or something entirely out of our control, over-apologizing can erode our self-confidence and create unhealthy dynamics in relationships. This habit often stems from anxiety, low self-esteem, or a desire to avoid conflict, which can lead to unnecessary guilt and frustration. In this blog, we’ll explore how you can replace “sorry” with “thank you” to foster healthier communication, build self-confidence, and nurture stronger relationships—whether in your personal life, at work, or with your loved ones. If you’ve ever found yourself apologizing too often, this shift can be a game changer in your mental health journey.
I am not talking about the kind of apologizing one would do appropriately when they have done or said something hurtful. Sometimes we feel we must apologize because we truly feel responsible. However, here I am speaking of inappropriate guilt. This can be described as a feeling of guilt that's based on an incorrect assumption of responsibility, or a feeling of guilt for something that was not your fault or out of your control. By apologizing and feeling badly about ourselves for inappropriate guilt, we might be trying to avoid conflict and don't want the person to be upset with us. Apologizing in this context comes from a place of wanting to please others (read my blog on people pleasing here).
To stop apologizing from inappropriate guilt, we must work on self-confidence. Be ok with the idea that you can't please everyone and sometimes they will be angry, disappointed, frustrated, etc. But we know we can't control another's feelings. It's more important that your feelings are intact. Make sure you have healthy boundaries and are able to cultivate a healthy relationship for and with yourself in order to cultivate healthy relationships with others.
"Thank you" is an acknowledgement of someone doing something right. You are letting the person know you noticed and are grateful.
Examples:
"Sorry I am late" vs. "Thank you so much for waiting"
In this situation, “thank you” acknowledges the other person’s understanding
rather than drawing attention to your mistake. It conveys appreciation for their time, which fosters positive feelings rather than guilt.
"Sorry I made that mistake" vs. "Thank you for pointing that out to me. I'll fix it"
Mistakes are a part of life, and responding with gratitude encourages a growth mindset. It shows that you’re open to learning and improving, which can create a more collaborative and supportive environment.
"Sorry to bother you" vs. "Thank you for helping me"
Rather than framing your request as a burden, expressing gratitude acknowledges the other person’s willingness to assist. This creates a more positive exchange and affirms that you’re worthy of support.
I reiterate that sometimes a true apology is necessary, but know where to draw the line. Apologize for your role and leave it at that. If you are someone who likes to make amends and resolve conflict right away, it may be tempting to apologize for more than your share. Doing this over time can lead to resentment or mistreatment from others. Over-apologizing is a habit many of us develop in an attempt to maintain peace or be polite, but it can undermine our confidence and self-worth. By replacing “sorry” with “thank you,” we can shift our mindset, foster healthier relationships, and promote more positive communication. Start today by practicing gratitude in your interactions, and watch how this simple change transforms your outlook and your connections with others.
Remember, while genuine apologies are important in certain situations, over-apologizing can negatively impact your self-esteem and the way others perceive you. Instead, embrace gratitude by replacing unnecessary apologies with “thank you.” This small change can enhance your confidence, create healthier boundaries, and lead to more positive interactions with others. If you find yourself struggling with anxiety, self-esteem issues, or relationships, Thrive for Life Counseling is here to help. Our licensed therapists offer virtual therapy across Indiana, Illinois, Florida, New Hampshire, and New Jersey. We accept most major insurance plans, making therapy more accessible than ever. Take the first step toward healthier communication and relationships by reaching out for a consultation or appointment today. Let’s thrive together!