It’s Okay to Not Be Okay: A Therapist’s Reflection on Healing and Growth

As I reflect on the path that has led me to becoming a therapist, I can’t help but think back to a time when I was just a college student, navigating life with its ups and downs, trying to balance the demands of school, athletics, and relationships. At that time, I had the support of loving parents, a great group of friends, and an athletic scholarship — by all accounts, everything seemed perfect. But deep down, I felt lost.

That period of my life was a turning point, not just in terms of my career or personal identity, but in understanding something critical about human experience: it’s okay to not be okay.

Back then, I was struggling in ways I hadn’t fully understood yet. I loved running, and for a long time, it fueled my sense of purpose. But as my college career progressed, I began to experience the mental and emotional toll that a sport — or any pursuit we hold dear — can take on our well-being.

I used to define myself by my race times, and when I didn’t hit the numbers I wanted, it felt like I was failing at life. As a competitive person, this was tough to reconcile. The idea that “it’s just a sport” seemed dismissive of the deep emotional and psychological impact athletics (or any passion, really) can have. It was more than a time on the clock; it was about proving something to myself — and when that wasn’t happening, I felt worthless.

This tension between loving something so deeply and being overwhelmed by the pressure it brings is something I now see in many of my clients. I understand the ways in which our passions, relationships, and ambitions can both build us up and break us down. And I understand that healing doesn’t always come with a clear endpoint or a neat resolution — sometimes, it’s just about taking things one step at a time.

Back in 2018, I was going through a lot. There was heartbreak, loss, and a sense of growing isolation. I had always been a person who kept my emotions close, and those changes left me feeling disconnected from myself and others. I often felt insecure and unsure of how to explain what I was going through. But what I learned during that time was invaluable: it’s okay to feel lost, uncertain, or broken. We don’t have to have it all figured out.

Through those struggles, I found that running became a way for me to connect with myself again. It wasn’t about performance anymore; it was about presence. It was about showing up for myself, even on the days when I felt defeated or exhausted. And it was during that time that I realized: sometimes, we need to give ourselves the space to be imperfect.

Now, as a therapist, I often talk with clients about the importance of embracing imperfection. Healing isn’t a linear journey, and it doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, self-compassion, and a willingness to sit with the discomfort of not having all the answers. And sometimes, the most healing thing we can do is just accept where we are, rather than constantly striving for a “better” version of ourselves.

I still find beauty in running — and in life — but I no longer define myself by my achievements or external validation. Instead, I’ve learned to appreciate the smaller things: the ability to be present in the moment, the people who support me, and the understanding that who I am is enough, even when I’m not at my best.

This journey has taught me that the pain of growth is real, but it’s also temporary. The tough times I went through have shaped me into the therapist I am today, and have given me the empathy to truly understand the struggles that my clients face. I now see the importance of fostering self-love and self-compassion, and encouraging others to do the same.

If you’re reading this and feeling lost, unsure, or overwhelmed, know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to not have everything figured out. It’s okay to take your time, to feel the pain, and to heal at your own pace. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that healing isn’t about fixing ourselves — it’s about learning to be with ourselves as we are, imperfections and all.

I’ve come to realize that there’s so much more to life than a number on a clock or an external achievement. There’s beauty in the journey itself, in the lessons we learn along the way, and in the people who walk (or run) alongside us. And while there may not always be a “fairytale” ending, there is always the opportunity to grow, to learn, and to keep moving forward — even when it feels hard.

If you're struggling, know that you don’t have to face it alone. At Thrive for Life Counseling, we provide compassionate, professional, and fully virtual therapy services to support you through life’s challenges. Whether you’re navigating a difficult season or seeking tools for personal growth, I’m here to listen, guide, and empower you on your journey to healing. I welcome clients from Indiana, Florida, and New Jersey, and Thrive accepts most major insurance plans. Take the first step toward a brighter future—schedule a consultation or appointment with me today and discover how therapy can help you thrive.