What Counts as Cheating These Days?
In 2025, defining cheating in a romantic relationship is more complicated than ever. Surprisingly, there is no single behavior that 100 percent of people agree qualifies as infidelity. As dating norms evolve, technology expands, and relationship expectations shift, couples are grappling with new gray areas — emotional, financial, physical, and digital.
At Thrive for Life Counseling, we help individuals and couples navigate trust, communication, and boundaries through virtual therapy, online couples counseling, and therapy for anxiety and relationship issues across Indiana, Illinois, Florida, Missouri, and New Jersey.
What Modern Research Says About Cheating
A recent national study by the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, which surveyed 2,000 single adults ages 18 to 91, highlights how varied today’s definitions of infidelity truly are.
Percentage of participants who view each behavior as cheating:
84 percent: Having sex with someone else
70 percent: Kissing someone else
52 percent: Flirting with someone else
50 percent: Forming a deep emotional bond with another person
Beyond physical contact like kissing or sex, opinions diverge. Many participants were split on whether emotional closeness or flirting qualifies as cheating. Additionally, one-third of adults believe behaviors such as buying gifts, sharing secrets, or fantasizing about someone else represent infidelity.
This suggests that cheating is no longer viewed exclusively as a physical betrayal — for many people, emotional and financial actions matter just as much.
Cheating and Non-Monogamous Relationships
Importantly, not everyone views sexual behavior outside the relationship as cheating. Those in open or consensually non-monogamous partnerships may allow sexual activity with others, but they still establish boundaries.
For example, in some relationships:
Sex with others may be permitted
Not disclosing the encounter may be considered cheating
Unsafe sex may violate relationship rules
In other words, infidelity still exists in non-monogamous relationships — but the rules differ.
Technology and Modern Infidelity
Digital life has changed everything, including how people cheat. The Kinsey Institute study also looked at technologically assisted behaviors:
72 percent of participants said sexting someone else is cheating
Only 45 percent said sending money or gifts to a webcam or content creator counts as infidelity
Even when people don’t classify these behaviors as outright cheating, many still consider them micro-cheating — small betrayals that can erode trust, damage emotional connection, or raise suspicion in the relationship.
Why Definitions of Cheating Are So Inconsistent
Expectations vary because:
People have different lived experiences
Cultural and religious backgrounds shape beliefs
Technology creates new relational scenarios
Emotional vs. physical intimacy carries different weight for different people
There is no universally accepted definition of cheating anymore — which makes communication more important than ever.
How Couples Can Navigate These Differences
Since modern opinions on infidelity are highly individualized, the most important step is discussing boundaries openly. Couples benefit from asking questions such as:
What emotional behaviors cross the line?
What online interactions feel inappropriate?
Is flirting harmless or hurtful?
What digital privacy expectations do we have?
How do we define betrayal in our relationship?
There are no “right” or “wrong” answers — what matters is creating shared clarity rather than assuming your partner sees things the same way you do.
Conclusion
Cheating is no longer a one-size-fits-all concept. With emotional connections, digital interactions, and gray-area behaviors evolving rapidly, couples must clarify their boundaries and communicate openly to protect trust and connection.
If you or your partner are struggling with uncertainty, betrayal, or conflict around infidelity, virtual therapy can help you rebuild honesty, strengthen communication, and restore emotional safety.
Thrive for Life Counseling offers affordable online counseling, marriage therapy, and couples counseling online for clients in Indiana, Illinois, Florida, Missouri, and New Jersey. Our sessions are 100 percent virtual via secure video or phone, and we accept most major insurance plans.
Take the first step toward clarity and stronger communication. Schedule a consultation with one of our experienced therapists today.
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References
State of Us: National Study on Modern Love & Dating in 2025. (2025). A Kinsey Institute/DatingAdvice.com project.