The Ultimate Premarital Checklist: Key Questions to Strengthen Your Relationship Before Marriage
Marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires open communication, trust, and a shared vision for the future. Engaging in honest conversations before tying the knot can help couples build a strong foundation and prevent future misunderstandings. Premarital counseling is a valuable tool for addressing potential challenges in marriage, including finances, intimacy, and long-term goals. Whether you're navigating relationship concerns, anxiety, or uncertainty about your future together, discussing these essential premarital questions can help you and your partner establish a healthy and fulfilling marriage.
Questions About Marriage
Why are you marrying me?
What does marriage mean to you?
What are your hopes, dreams, and aspirations for marriage?
What are your deal breakers? What realistically would cause you to leave the marriage?
Why would exiting the marriage be bad for you?
Who will be your top priority—your spouse, children, or extended family?
What do you consider cheating?
Are you willing to sign a prenuptial agreement?
What type of support do you expect from me in our marriage (personally, financially, and emotionally)?
Finances and Money Management
How much did you earn last year?
What are your current debts?
How much do you have in savings?
Should we have joint or separate bank accounts? Why?
How do you feel about spending versus saving?
What are your financial goals as a couple?
How will we budget our expenses?
How will we divide financial responsibilities?
Intimacy and Sex
How often do you expect to be intimate?
What are your sexual preferences and boundaries?
How do you feel about monogamy versus open relationships?
How will we address intimacy issues if they arise?
What turns you on or off?
Do you have any concerns or fears about sex?
Religion and Spirituality
How do you feel about religion?
Will we practice the same faith?
How will we incorporate religious practices into our daily lives?
Will we raise our children with a specific religious education?
Children and Parenting
Do you want children? If so, how many?
What are your thoughts on birth control and family planning?
How will we handle infertility or alternative parenting options (IVF, surrogacy, adoption)?
How will parenting responsibilities be shared?
What are our views on discipline and education?
Personal Space and Independence
How much alone time do you need?
How will we maintain individual identities within the marriage?
Are we comfortable with solo travel or independent activities?
Household Responsibilities
How will we divide chores and household tasks?
Who will handle meal planning, grocery shopping, and cleaning?
How will we make decisions about home maintenance and repairs?
Career and Relocation
How will we balance work and family life?
What happens if one of us gets a career opportunity in another state or country?
What are our long-term career aspirations?
Conflict Resolution
How do we handle arguments?
How will we address conflicts that seem unsolvable?
Are we open to seeking couples therapy if needed?
Long-Term Goals and Future Planning
Where do you see yourself in 30 years?
How do we plan to navigate difficult times together?
What are our retirement goals and financial plans for the future?
Caregiving and Family Obligations
Do you have any health concerns I should know about?
How will we care for aging parents?
Will family members live with us if needed?
What are your wishes regarding end-of-life planning?
Politics and Personal Beliefs
Is it important for us to agree on politics?
How will we handle differences in political beliefs or values?
Conclusion
Answering these questions with honesty and openness can set the stage for a happy, successful marriage. Premarital counseling can be a great way to navigate these discussions and address potential concerns before they become major conflicts. At Thrive for Life Counseling, our experienced therapists, including Marilyn Verbiscer, LMFT, specialize in relationship counseling, anxiety, and depression, offering virtual therapy sessions for clients in Indiana, Illinois, Florida, and New Jersey. If you're preparing for marriage and want to strengthen your relationship, contact us today for a consultation or appointment. We accept most major insurance plans and provide accessible, online therapy to help you and your partner build a thriving future together.
References
Anchor Light Therapy. (2023). 33 Premarital Counseling Questions from a Therapist. Retrieved from https://anchorlighttherapy.com/33-premarital-counseling-questions-from-a-couples-therapist/
Savra, J. (2023). 25 Premarital Questions to Ask Before You Say I Do. Retrieved from https://www.jouslinesavra.com/25-premarital-questions-to-ask-before-you-say-i-do/
Zencare. (2023). Premarital Counseling Questions. Retrieved from https://blog.zencare.co/premarital-counseling-questions/