Ghosting: Why It Happens and How to Heal
Being “ghosted” — when someone suddenly stops all communication without explanation — can leave you feeling hurt, confused, and even questioning your self-worth. While ghosting is most often talked about in the context of dating, it can also happen in friendships and even in the workplace. At Thrive for Life Counseling, we help individuals process the painful feelings that come with ghosting through online therapy, virtual therapy for counseling, and therapy for anxiety and depression.
What Is Ghosting?
Ghosting happens when someone abruptly ends contact without offering a reason. This can look like unanswered texts, vanishing from social media, or simply disappearing without a goodbye. Although the term is modern, the behavior isn’t new — technology just makes it easier to “disappear” from someone’s life.
A 2018 study found that about 25% of men and women reported being ghosted in a romantic relationship, and 22% admitted to ghosting someone else. Ghosting has even been recognized in the workplace, with employers reporting new hires who simply stop showing up.
Why People Ghost
The reasons behind ghosting often say more about the ghoster than the ghosted. People may ghost to:
Avoid confrontation or uncomfortable conversations
Escape taking responsibility for ending the relationship
Spare themselves the emotional labor of empathy
Exit quickly if they feel unsafe, frustrated, or disinterested
Technology also plays a role. Dating apps and social media can make connections feel disposable, making ghosting a convenient option.
The Emotional Impact of Ghosting
Being ghosted can feel devastating because there’s no closure. You may wonder if the relationship is truly over, worry that something bad happened, or blame yourself for the silence. Responses can range from mild hurt to deep betrayal.
Many people find ghosting emotionally troubling because:
It leaves unanswered questions
It creates a sense of rejection
It offers no opportunity to process or grow from the experience
Healing After Being Ghosted
While it’s normal to feel sad or angry, it’s important to care for yourself. Try these steps to recover:
Allow yourself to feel your emotions
Focus on self-care: eat well, get enough sleep, and stay active
Spend time with supportive friends or family
Practice positive self-talk to remind yourself that ghosting is about them, not you
Consider virtual therapy to process lingering pain or anxiety
Should You Reach Out to the Ghoster?
Whether you contact the person depends on the relationship’s duration and importance. For a brief connection (like one or two dates), it may not be worth the effort. For a longer-term relationship, a polite, direct message asking for honesty can bring closure — though there’s no guarantee you’ll receive a response.
The Reappearing Ghoster
Sometimes ghosters resurface — liking your social media posts, sending a casual message, or even apologizing. If this happens, listen carefully and check in with your emotions before deciding whether to re-engage.
Related Terms: Orbiting, Breadcrumbing, and Caspering
Ghosting has several “spin-off” behaviors:
Orbiting – Staying in your online orbit by liking posts or viewing stories without communicating directly
Breadcrumbing – Sending just enough attention to keep you interested but never following through
Caspering – A kinder, more direct goodbye (e.g., “Thanks for meeting me, but I don’t see this moving forward”)
When Ghosting Is Appropriate
In some cases, disappearing is the safest choice — such as when someone makes you feel unsafe, angry, or manipulated. Trust your instincts and protect your well-being.
Conclusion
Ghosting can be painful, but it doesn’t define your worth. Processing the hurt with a trusted therapist can help you regain confidence, improve communication skills, and set healthy boundaries for future relationships.
Thrive for Life Counseling offers affordable online counseling, therapy for anxiety, therapy for depression, and virtual therapy for college students and athletes. We serve clients in Indiana, Illinois, Florida, Missouri, and New Jersey — 100% virtually, via secure video or phone sessions — and we accept most major insurance plans.
Take the first step toward healing and building healthier relationships. Schedule a consultation with one of our skilled therapists today.
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